Are you thinking about adding another child to your family? Do you wonder if you’ll be ready? How do you know if you’re ready? Here is a list of things to think about while you are deciding on when to add that next bundle of joy! (Obviously, every family’s experiences are different. These suggestions are based on my experiences with two children.)
Do you feel like you have a pretty good handle on things with one child?
I say “pretty good” because you’ll never have everything completely together when you have kids. But if you feel like you know your one child and that you can picture him or her with a sibling, then you’ll be able to handle whatever comes with a second baby.
Do you feel like someone is “missing”?
Before my husband and I decided we wanted to have a second baby, we felt like someone was missing in our family. That person ended up being our oldest son’s little brother! After he was born our family felt more whole.
Are you emotionally healthy?
We all have good days and bad days. But you should probably feel mostly healthy and mostly happy before you add another baby, because you’re going to need a lot of that strength to push you through the difficult times that come with having a second baby!
Do you have a good support system?
“It takes a village”, right? Your life will be tremendously easier if you have family and/or friends to help you with your two kids. Trusted people to take care of your oldest while you’re at the hospital, to babysit your oldest so you can take naps after the baby’s born, to bring you some meals, etc… A good support system is essential for physical and emotional survival!
Do you feel physically strong enough to be pregnant again?
Being pregnant the second time around is different than the first time. Even if the actual pregnancy feels exactly the same, you have a little one to take care of when you get pregnant the second time. It’s a good idea to make sure your body is as healthy and strong as possible before you gear up for the 9 months of fatigue, sickness, and growing- because you’ll be doing all of this while running around with your oldest.
Am I scaring you yet??? I promise, I’m not trying to discourage you from having more than one child!
How are your finances?
This is an obvious question that we ask ourselves whenever we are thinking about having a baby. Babies need lots and lots of supplies, food, and medical care (even just for regular checkups)! We want to make sure we can provide for those little babies.
How is your relationship with your spouse?
Adding another child to a family adds another layer of stress, so it’s always a good idea to make sure you and your spouse/partner are secure enough in your relationship to handle that stress. Remember to always prioritize each other!
Do you WANT another baby?
I once told my husband, “once the Baby Hungry train gets moving, there is no stopping it!” Personally, I feel like the biggest indicator of whether or not you are ready to have another baby is if you truly WANT another baby. If you want a second baby, then you will make it work, no matter the spacing of your kids’ ages. The most important thing to consider and make sure is that your baby and all of your children will be LOVED, CHERISHED, and CARED FOR.
My family’s transition from one to two kids was a little bit rough. But after some time and learning, we got into a groove. And now I cannot imagine life without my two sons! It is a blast! I know that they were meant to be brothers, and that we were all meant to be a family.
Whatever you decide for your family, I wish you the best of luck! Parenthood is a wonderful and fulfilling journey.